Poor-weather Friends
by Desbelleschoses
Summary: A regular meeting turns into a bunker situation due to inclement weather. Team Mustang. Tfor swearing.


**A/N: Sorry I've been so quiet lately. Lots going on and all. But here's a fun piece I wrote to clear my head. I hope to update WWG sometime this weekend.**

 **Poor-weather Friends**

Thunder clapped and the building seemed to shake from the force. Soon after, lightning lit up the darkened sky, turning night into day for a brief instant. With a low whistle, Jean Havoc let the burgundy curtain fall back over the window. His hand instinctively went for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket before he thought better of it. When he turned back around, his fingers stayed in his pocket, pressed against the paper. "Damn that uptight landlady of yours. One smoke isn't going to ruin the place."

"I told you, I don't care if you smoke or not. Evil hag isn't going to give me my deposit back, anyway." Roy Mustang pulled a lever on the side of the black couch, causing his segment to recline.

The outside world growled menacingly. White noise hissed through the radio, fading in and out as Kain Fuery turned the knobs. He almost lost his balance when the airwaves picked up a loud, shrill buzzing.

 _This is an alert of the Central Weather Station. A tornado warning has been issued for Nippax, Paumis, Central City, and Reio. A tornado watch is still in effect for the entirety of the Central Area. Citizens are advised... homes..._

The signal was lost, replaced by static. Fuery switched the radio off, having tried all he could to get a steady transmission. The clock read 10:34.

"Why the hell this had to happen tonight, I'll never know." Roy shook his head. What was supposed to be a brief meeting turned into a bunker situation. His entire team was now in his home, three hours longer than anticipated. The leg rest of the couch bent downward as Black Hayate jumped up beside him. Roy allowed the puppy to circle before falling down into a heap between his side and the arm rest. He reached out and scratched between the dog's ears.

"Yo, Colonel, you got anything else to eat other than Saltenes?" Breda peeked into the living room through the open window to the small kitchen.

"I doubt it. And there's no way anything is getting delivered, so you're going to have to settle."

Fuery had made his way over to a large, wooden bookshelf, looking for something to pass the time. He reached out and picked up a small, plastic frame. "Lieutenant Hawkeye? Did you go to the Hughes' wedding with the colonel?" He wasn't trying to pry, but he was surprised to see Riza standing beside Gracia in the photograph. Maes and Roy were to be expected, complete with beaming grins, but Hawkeye's soft smile was something he was curious about.

Riza entered the living room from the kitchen, a mug of tea in her hands. She stood beside Fuery and looked down at the photograph. "Yes, I did. I met Lieutenant Hughes during my tour. The invitations that the Colonel and I recieved had no plus ones; they were trying to save as much as they could on the wedding. So we went together."

Kain nodded along with her matter-of-fact tone, satisfied with her explanation. "I didn't know you were so close with Lieutenant Hughes."

"The lieutenant has a way of inserting himself into someone's life through sheer force of will." Her grin showed that she wasn't upset by this. She earned a chuckle of agreement from most of the group.

Black Hayate whined as another clap of thunder resonated through the house. Roy picked him up and lowered his leg rest, setting the puppy on his lap. "The only room without windows is my master bathroom. If the sirens go off, we'll have to squeeze in there."

"It doesn't look like this is gonna let up any time soon," Havoc commented, once again looking out the window. "I call dibs on the couch."

"Wait, what?" Breda interjected.

"We're gonna have to crash here, so I call dibs."

"That's not fair. No one said we were calling dibs!"

The two lieutenants began talking over one another, soon joined by Fuery and Falman.

"Oh would you shut up!" Roy shouted, interrupting the quarrel. "Look, I have a couch, a chair, an air mattress, and a sleeping bag. You guys figure it out."

"What about Lieutenant Hawkeye?" Fuery challenged.

"She's going to take my bed."

"And you?" Havoc asked suggestively.

Roy's sudden glare wiped the grin off his subordinate's face. "I have a second air mattress that actually isn't terrible. _That's_ how you call 'dibs'."

Riza had disappeared down the hall, returning with several blankets. Most of them were smaller throws, but an old quilt or two were squirreled away in the stack. "There. That's everything I found in the linen closet."

"Dibs!" Havoc shouted, initiating the mad scramble toward the pile. Riza hastily moved out of the way. She shared a confused glance with Roy, who shook his head.

After the chaos had died down, Fuery sat on the couch with a wide smile. The scorned glares he recieved from his comrades seemed not to faze him. Falman had claimed the reclining chair by throwing his blanket and uniform jacket on the seat. Havoc and Breda sat on the floor, conspiring. The clock read 11:03.

"So, Chief, can I borrow your shower?" Havoc asked, hoping that he could steal a better spot during the rotation.

"No," Riza answered for him. When everyone looked at her, she continued, "It's storming outside. Everyone knows that you can't shower during a lightning storm."

"Isn't that just an old wives' tale?" Fuery inquired.

"Think what you want," Riza countered. "But if lightning strikes down and you get electrocuted, it's not on my head." A quick glance around the room showed that no one was willing to take that risk. Riza wasn't usually superstitious, so perhaps there was some truth to her words. Jean, who had heard the same growing up, nodded his head in understanding.

"You got a TV or something?" Breda asked, holding two of the books he found on the coffee table. "No offense, but _The Treasure of Treasures for Alchemists_ and _Alchemical Catechism_ don't sound like my type of books."

Riza's smirk was slight enough to go unnoticed, and she had to bite her tongue to keep herself from saying that they weren't Roy's either.

"There's one in the cupboard." Roy walked over to the wooden display case and opened the cabinet doors to reveal a surprisingly average television set. "I don't know if it'll pick up anything in this storm."

"Let me try," Fuery offered, switching places with his commanding officer. As he fiddled with the antennae, his comrades made themselves comfortable. Roy, taking advantage of his status as resident, took a seat on the couch. In a natural move, Riza sat down beside him. Havoc seized Fuery's inattention and threw himself over the back of the couch, securing his place on the opposite end. Falman was unwilling to relinquish his chair to Breda, who was trying to pull rank. The lieutenant soon gave up and chose to sit on the floor, using the gap between Riza and Havoc's legs to lean back against the couch.

The television, invented with a good deal of alchemy back in the 1900s, thankfully didn't require an alchemic touch to run or fix. With a few more adjustments, Fuery was able to pick up a relatively clear, black-and-white, B-movie horror film.

"Yeah, this is the one where human transmutation creates a zombie hoard, right?" Havoc inquired.

"Something like that," Fuery affirmed as he turned off the overhead light. He then lay on his stomach on the floor. Black Hayate joined him and mimicked his position.

Havoc made himself comfortable by throwing his arms along the back of the couch. Landlady be damned, he decided, and he pulled out his pack of cigarettes. He slapped the pack on his palm and placed the stick in his mouth. It was then that he decided to have a little fun.

"Want one?" he asked, holding the pack almost in front of Mustang's face.

"No, I don't smoke. You know that." Roy pushed Havoc's hand away.

"Really? I could have sworn you told me you did." Havoc set the pack on the table to his left. His comment completely missed its mark. "I guess you're just not as cool as I am."

Roy looked at him out of the corner of his eyes, making him snicker. It was when his gaze met Riza's amber eyes that he stopped. With a wide grin, he reached out and ruffled Riza's hair. "C'mon, Ree. What's with the face?"

Riza turned to face the screen and said flatly, "Jean, just watch the movie."

"So we're using first names now?" Breda tilted his head back so that he could look up at the two blondes.

"Nah, Ree and I are just close like that." Havoc threw his arm around Riza's shoulders, pulling her to him.

Riza tried to move away, but Havoc wouldn't let her. A quick pinch to his side made him move his arm. _Quit acting like an ass_ , her eyes said.

"You idiot!" Roy exclaimed, drawing everyone's gaze to him. "That's not how alchemy works! Equivalent. Exchange."

Havoc's blue eyes were wide in disbelief. Had he really not been paying any attention? So much for trying to get under his skin. Too bad, that was always good for a laugh. By this point, Roy was leaning forward, his hands on his knees. He gestured forcefully each time he contradicted the screen. Riza looked like she had seen this many times before.

 _"That's not even a circle!_ "

"Uh, you okay there, chief?" Havoc asked, voicing what everyone was thinking.

"It's just a film, Colonel," Riza chimed in.

Roy looked away and over at his comrades. He had a look of confusion on his face.

"Little worried about you there, man." Havoc leaned forward in front of Riza, trying to get a better look at Roy's face. "You left us."

"Sorry. It's, uh, a bad habit of mine." Roy frowned, acknowledging his outbursts.

"We've all got our hangups." Breda shrugged as he shoved Havoc's leg away from his face. "Just figured that'd be Falman's. No offense."

"None taken," the other man responded.

"I think it would be best if everyone got settled." Riza stood, avoiding Breda as she did so. "We do have to go to work tomorrow, if the house isn't blown away."

Havoc wrinkled his face. "You're cheery." He doubted that she heard him, because she was halfway down the hall already. It took a few moments before she returned, sleeping bag and air mattress in hand.

"Here." Riza set the items down beside the blankets. "Now-"

She was cut off by a distant wailing, which caused Black Hayate to try to howl in unison. Defeat crept onto her face as she realized their situation. "Come on, then." The forlorn lieutenant led the parade through the house, through Roy's bedroom, and to the master bathroom. It wasn't bigger than a third of their office space. The shower and bathtub were one unit, and the sink was enclosed overtop a small cabinet. The toilet lay on the opposite side.

Havoc peeled back the shower curtain and climbed into the bathtub, trying to make all six-and-then-some feet of himself comfortable. There was little room for the remaining five officers. Fuery held Black Hayate, compressing himself as much as he could. Breda found a spot where he could lean against the wall, and Falman remained standing. Before Roy could click the door shut, Riza slipped out of the bathroom. She returned a moment later with the pillows and duvet from Roy's bed.

"If we end up having to sleep in here, I want to be prepared," She said to no one in particular. She handed Roy the pillow she knew to be his and kept her own, offering the rest to her comrades. "Jackets and shoes," she ordered, arms extended. The articles of clothing were soon tossed out on the bedroom floor. At least they could be somewhat comfortable. Riza reached up and unclipped her hair, and the barrette found its place on the sink.

Roy sat down beside Riza, his back against the closed door. Even though they couldn't see the lightning, they could hear the winds. The ringing phone was barely heard over it all. Fuery made a move to stand, but Roy gestured for him to stay where he was. "You're the furthest away. Besides, it can't be that important."

The third time the phone started ringing, Riza decided that they all had had enough. She reached behind her and opened the door, barely having to reach to grab the reciever on the table around the corner. "Hello?" she asked into the phone, shutting the cord in the door. It didn't reach far, so she had to almost press her face against the doorjamb. She furrowed her brow and let go of the phone, which hung limply against the door. "It's for you," she said flatly, looking at her commanding officer. Awkwardly, she stood and clambered over Roy, who accidentally kicked Falman in the shin as he shifted. Riza let herself plop to the ground, earning a hiss from Roy. He drew back the hand she fell on and shook it as he spoke into the phone.

"Hello?" Roy paused before letting out a sigh. "Yes, she is, along with the rest of the team." Another pause. "No, it was a meeting... Because you had already gone home..." He rolled his eyes as he looked upward. "Maes. I did _not_ leave you out. Just-" Another sigh, this time of relief. "Yes, we're all safe. Okay, you too, Gracia." Roy threw the reciever back outside the door.

Havoc let out a snort, giving Riza a knowing look. She gave him a threatening one in return, to which he started laughing. Breda looked over at his friend, confused. "What's so funny?"

"Hughes thought-"

Havoc was cut off by Riza, who spoke to him in a low tone. He had lost most of his knowledge of the Cretan language, but he knew exactly what that meant. He coughed. "He thought we'd be stupid enough to not be somewhere safe."

No one bought into his hurried cover-up. "Whadafuck was that?" Breda asked, hoping for clarification.

"Don't worry about it, man," Havoc insisted. At his urgency, Breda dropped the subject.

Another bout of thunder crashed above the house, the lights flickering and dying with the sound. Black Hayate let out a whine. Breda grinned as he decided to take advantage of the darkness. "Hey, you guys ever hear the story about Warehouse 13?"

* * *

Between Breda's ghost story and attempting to sleep upright, Kain Fuery's eyes were bloodshot and sunken as he drug himself into the office the next morning. Wordlessly, he placed a stack of papers on the colonel's desk before falling into his chair. Beside him, Breda was cradling his head in his hands with his elbows on the desk. Havoc's head rested on his desk, drool pooling dangerously close to his paperwork. Falman... Fuery wasn't really sure what Falman was doing. He was sitting in his chair, arms crossed, but his thin eyes made it almost impossible to tell if he was awake.

Roy, it seemed, had fallen out of his chair and was asleep behind his desk. Riza's eyes squeezed shut each time he let out a snore. Damn it, she didn't have enough in her to go roll him onto his side. Black Hayate replied every time with a yip, at which Riza shooed him away with her hand. Her eyes were open, but there was no life in them.

The door to the office flew open, and a cheery Maes Hughes began his usual, rambunctious intrusion. "Yo!" He trailed off when he looked around the office. When he saw no one at Roy's desk, he instinctively looked for Riza. The lieutenant was waving him over. Maes hesitantly walked toward her. The next thing he knew, he had a puppy in his hands.

"Take him and get out." Riza mumbled, her forehead resting on her forearm. "Roll the colonel on his side before you leave."

Maes looked at Black Hayate, who gave his nose a lick. Doing as he was told, he pushed Roy over on his side. He stopped snoring almost immediately, which surprised Maes. He wished he knew this trick years ago. Wondering how Riza knew, he walked out of the office, gently shutting the door behind him.

He held Black Hayate up in front of his face as he started down the hall. "Well, little guy, you can come help me in the court marshal office today. But I have to warn you, Major Armstrong is a lot softer than he looks."


End file.
